Thinking Traps (not personal failures) part 2 of 2

If you read the first post and felt seen, or tired, you can go slowly here.

This is not a test.
You don’t need to remember names.

These are just a few more common thinking traps that show up when people are under pressure, trying to stay safe, or trying to belong.

You can stop at any point.

Thinking Trap #4: Mind Reading

What it sounds like:

• “They think I’m difficult.”

• “I know they’re judging me.”

Why our brains do this:
Guessing other people’s thoughts can feel safer than asking, especially if asking hasn’t been safe in the past.

Why it can hurt:
We end up carrying stories that may not be true, and they can weigh heavily on our sense of worth.

Gentle reframe:

“I’m telling myself a story. I don’t actually know.”

You might try asking:

• “What evidence do I have and what am I assuming?”

• “Is there another possible explanation?”

Thinking Trap #5: Overgeneralizing

What it sounds like:

• “This always happens.”

• “People like me never get it right.”

Why our brains do this:
Our brains look for patterns. Sometimes they draw conclusions too fast.

Why it can hurt:
One painful experience can start to feel like a life sentence.

Gentle reframe:

“One experience is not a rule.”

You might try asking:

• “Has this ever gone differently?”

• “What would a more specific statement sound like?”

Thinking Trap #6: Appeal to Authority

What it sounds like:

• “They’re the expert, so I shouldn’t question it.”

• “This must be true; someone important said it.”

Why our brains do this:
Trusting authority can keep us safe especially as children or in structured communities.

Why it can hurt:
When authority replaces our own judgment, it can silence important inner signals.

Gentle reframe:

“Authority can offer guidance, not ownership of my thinking.”

You might try asking:

• “Does this align with my lived experience?”

• “Am I allowed to hold questions here?”

Thinking Trap #7: False Dilemmas

What it sounds like:

• “If I leave, I’ll be alone.”

• “Either I stay quiet or I cause harm.”

Why our brains do this:
Under stress, the brain simplifies choices to reduce overwhelm.

Why it can hurt:
It hides options that might exist but aren’t visible yet.

Gentle reframe:

“There may be more options than I can see right now.”

You might try asking:

• “What would a third option look like?”

• “What’s the smallest step that isn’t either extreme?”

If this feels familiar, you’re not failing at thinking.

These patterns often form in people who are attentive, loyal, and trying to do the right thing.

You don’t have to challenge every thought.
Even noticing one can create a little more room to breathe.

That’s enough for today.